If a letter or an email has just told you to complete Planning Together for Children, you have ten days to do the first part. That is the single most useful fact on this page, and it is the one most parents miss, because the welcome email reads like information rather than a deadline.

Planning Together for Children is the course Cafcass runs for separating parents who are in family court proceedings about their children. It is free, it is mostly online, and your co-parent will never be in the same session as you. Here is exactly how it works, step by step, from the official Cafcass guidance on Planning Together for Children.

What It Is, in One Paragraph

Planning Together for Children is a course that Cafcass provides on behalf of the Ministry of Justice. Its stated aim is to protect children from the harmful effects of parental conflict, by helping parents set aside their feelings, communicate better and agree arrangements without needing more court hearings. Cafcass launched it on 3 April 2023, and it replaced the Separated Parents Information Programme (SPIP), which Cafcass had commissioned since 2009. Around 24,000 parents a year were being referred to SPIP, and their feedback shaped the new course.

If you have heard someone call it SPIP, that is why. It is the same slot in the court process with a different design.

How You End Up on It

You cannot book yourself onto the Cafcass course. Cafcass is explicit that it is not currently available to parents outside the court process or to anyone who wants to refer themselves. There are two routes in.

Before recommending a referral, the Family Court Adviser carries out an assessment using Cafcass's Child Impact Assessment Framework to check for risks and whether the course is suitable for your family. A referral made before the first hearing can mean you attend sooner.

If you are ordered to attend and do not, the court can order it again and will expect you to take part. It is not optional in any practical sense.

The Three Parts, in Order

1. The e-learning: up to two hours, within ten days

Once the referral is made, you are emailed a welcome letter with instructions to verify your account in the Planning Together for Children Parent Hub. Log in at the Planning Together for Children Parent Hubwith the email address you gave Cafcass as your preferred one, because that is what the account is tied to.

The e-learning takes up to two hours and must be completed within ten days of your welcome letter. It works on a phone, tablet, laptop or desktop, and you can do it in your own time. The topics are:

• What happens if I go to court?
• How the way we handle our separation affects our child
• Conflict and its impact on children
• Putting myself in my child's shoes
• What can I and my co-parent do differently to support our child?
• How can I listen and communicate better to help my child?
• Tips to help me remember how to listen, talk and communicate in the future
• What am I going to do next?

2. The group workshop: two and a half hours, usually on Zoom

After the e-learning, Action for Children, Cafcass's delivery partner, or one of its approved partners, contacts you to book the workshop. This is the part people search for as the "Planning Together for Children Zoom workshop".

The facts that matter:

• It lasts two and a half hours, delivered in two halves with a break in the middle.
• It is usually online. You are sent a link and join from a laptop, phone, tablet or computer. If you need to attend in person, the provider can arrange it.
• You choose the time. Groups run during the day, in the evening and at weekends.
• Groups are small. Never more than six parents or carers.
• Your co-parent is never in the same workshop as you.
• You are expected to take part. Cafcass says you will be expected to join in the conversation and the activities, so treat it as a session rather than a webinar.

The first half covers separation and the effect of parental conflict on children. The second covers managing conflict, communicating in a child-centred way, and the Our Child's Plan.

3. Our Child's Plan

Our Child's Plan is the online parenting plan in the Parent Hub, previously called the Parenting Plan. It prompts you both through arrangements such as time with each parent, school and health decisions, pocket money and pets. One parent starts it, the other gets a link to view the proposals and accept them or suggest changes.

If you have been referred to the course, Cafcass recommends waiting until after the workshop before you start the plan. Anyone can use Our Child's Plan for free, including parents who are nowhere near court.

What the Court Is Told

This is the question behind most of the anxiety, so here is the answer from the guidance.

The Parent Hub records what learning you have completed and when. Your Family Court Adviser and the court are notified if a parent is unable or unwilling to complete the course, so they can consider next steps.

What you say in the workshop is confidential, with one exception: if there are concerns about the safety of a child or an adult, the trainer will contact the parents concerned and can contact Cafcass.

It is not a test and nobody grades your parenting. What reaches the court is whether you completed it.

What It Costs

Nothing. Cafcass states there is no cost to you for taking part.

Wales Is Different

In Wales the equivalent course is called Working Together for Children, and it is run through Cafcass Cymru rather than Cafcass. If your case is in Wales, the Cafcass Parent Hub is not your route in.

What the Course Does Not Do

Planning Together for Children gives both of you the same information about conflict and children, separately. It does not negotiate your arrangements, and it does not change how the other parent behaves.

That is where most parents come unstuck afterwards. The course explains why the handover argument hurts your child. It cannot rehearse the next handover with you. Our guide to co-parenting courses in the UK compares it with mediation and coaching, and if you are heading towards mediation as well, see how to prepare for divorce mediation.

A Practical Checklist

1. Find the welcome email, including in spam, and note the date. Your ten days start from it.
2. Verify the Parent Hub account using the email address Cafcass holds for you.
3. Block two hours and do the e-learning in one or two sittings, not ten minutes at a time on the bus.
4. When the workshop invitation arrives, pick a slot where you will be alone, uninterrupted and without the children in the room. Children are not permitted to attend.
5. Test your camera and microphone beforehand. You will be taking part, not just listening.
6. Leave Our Child's Plan until after the workshop.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is Planning Together for Children?

It is a free Cafcass course for parents in private law family court proceedings, provided on behalf of the Ministry of Justice. It has three parts: up to two hours of e-learning, a two and a half hour group workshop, and an online Our Child's Plan. It replaced the Separated Parents Information Programme in April 2023.

Is the Planning Together for Children workshop on Zoom?

It usually takes place online. You are sent a link and join from your own device, choosing a daytime, evening or weekend group. If you need to attend in person, the provider can arrange that instead.

How long does Planning Together for Children take?

The e-learning takes up to two hours and must be done within ten days of your welcome letter. The group workshop lasts two and a half hours, split into two halves with a break.

Will I be in the same session as my ex?

No. Cafcass states that you will never be invited into the same workshop as your co-parent, and groups are capped at six parents or carers.

Can I self-refer to Planning Together for Children?

No. The course is currently only available through the court process, either by court order or by a Family Court Adviser referral that the court agrees to. The Our Child's Plan tool is available to anyone.

What happens if I do not complete it?

The Parent Hub records what you have completed, and your Family Court Adviser and the court are told if a parent is unable or unwilling to finish. If you were ordered to attend and did not, the court can order it again and will expect you to take part.

After the Course

Most parents finish the workshop agreeing with every word of it and then find the next message from their ex goes exactly the way the last one did. Knowing what conflict does to children and having a different way of responding in the moment are two separate skills.

If you want help with the second one, scripting the difficult messages, planning handovers and staying steady through the rest of proceedings, you can book a free discovery call. Our co-parenting guide covers communication in higher conflict situations too.