Six weeks. That is roughly how long the school summer holidays last in England and Wales, with most schools breaking up between 17 and 24 July 2026 and returning in the first week of September. For separated parents it is the longest, most logistically demanding stretch of the co-parenting year, and it is bearing down fast.

Christmas gets all the attention, but summer is harder. There is more time to fill, more childcare to arrange, more money to find, and a much bigger question hanging over it all: who takes the children away, where, and when? This guide covers how to get the arrangements agreed, how to handle the tricky bits like holidays abroad, and how to look after yourself through the weeks when the house is quiet.

Why Summer Is the Hardest School Holiday to Co-Parent

Every other school break is a week or two. Summer is six, sometimes more. That changes the nature of the problem:

• Neither parent can cover it alone. Most working parents get five or six weeks of annual leave for the whole year. The summer holidays alone would swallow all of it.
• Childcare is expensive. Holiday clubs in the UK typically cost somewhere between £25 and £40 per child per day. Across six weeks, that adds up fast for one household, let alone two.
• The big holiday question. Summer is when most families take their main holiday, which raises questions separated parents do not face at Easter: consecutive weeks away, passports, and trips abroad.
• Routines dissolve. The school-run structure that keeps many co-parenting arrangements ticking over simply stops. Everything has to be renegotiated for six weeks.

None of this is unmanageable. But it rewards parents who plan early and punishes those who leave it to the week before school breaks up.

Agree the Arrangements Now, Not in August

If you have not yet agreed how the summer will be split, make that conversation this week's priority. The single biggest predictor of a smooth summer is how early the plan was made. Late planning means holiday clubs are full, flights are expensive, annual leave is already booked by colleagues, and every conversation happens under time pressure.

There is no single right way to divide the break. Common patterns include:

Whichever pattern you choose, put it in writing, even if that is just a shared email or calendar. If you have a parenting plan, add the summer arrangements to it. If you do not have one yet, summer is a good reason to create one. The government's guidance on making child arrangementsexplains the options, from informal agreements through to consent orders.

A few principles that help the negotiation:

• Lead with dates, not grievances. "I would like the children from 1 to 14 August" is a workable opening. Relitigating the divorce is not.
• Trade fairly across the year. If your ex takes an extra week in summer, that might balance against you having more of Christmas.
• Book nothing until it is agreed. Booking flights first and negotiating second is one of the most common triggers for summer conflict.

Taking the Children Abroad

This is the area where separated parents most often get caught out. In England and Wales, taking a child abroad requires the permission of everyone with parental responsibility, unless a court order says otherwise. That includes a one-week package holiday to Spain. The exception is where a parent has a Child Arrangements Order stating the child lives with them; that parent can take the child abroad for up to 28 days without consent, unless another order prevents it.

In practice:

• Ask in writing, early. Give the other parent the destination, dates, flight details, and where the children will be staying.
• Get consent in writing. A short signed letter from the other parent, with their contact details, is worth carrying. Border officials in some countries ask for evidence of consent, particularly where the child's surname differs from the accompanying parent's.
• Sort the passports early. Check expiry dates now, and be clear about which parent holds the passports and when they hand them over.
• If consent is refused, you can apply to the court for a Specific Issue Order. Courts generally approve reasonable holiday plans, but the process takes time, which is another argument for raising it early.

The same courtesy applies in reverse. If your ex wants to take the children away and the plan is reasonable, say yes promptly. Withholding consent as leverage harms the children and reflects badly if the dispute ever reaches a courtroom.

Splitting the Childcare, and the Cost

For the weeks when neither parent is on leave, you will need childcare, and it helps to treat it as a shared project rather than two separate scrambles:

• Coordinate annual leave first. Map out which weeks each of you can cover before booking anything else. Between two parents, you can often cover three or four of the six weeks with leave alone.
• Book holiday clubs together. Agree which weeks, which clubs, and how the cost is split. If you receive Tax-Free Childcare or Universal Credit childcare support, these usually apply to registered holiday clubs too.
• Use grandparents deliberately. A settled week with grandparents is childcare, a holiday, and relationship-building all at once, and it works for both households.
• Keep receipts and agree the split in advance. Money arguments in August usually trace back to vague agreements in June.

Make Your Weeks Count Without Overspending

Many newly separated parents feel pressure to compete: bigger trips, more days out, more treats. Children do not audit the summer that way. What they remember is attention, not expenditure.

A day building a den, a bike ride with a picnic, a cinema trip on a rainy Tuesday: these land just as well as a theme park, and they do not leave you starting September in debt. If money is tight this year, say something simple and honest: "We are having a home summer this year, and here is what we are going to do." Children take their emotional cues from you. If you treat the plan as exciting, they generally will too.

One thing worth protecting is a little structure. Six weeks without any routine is hard on children who move between two homes. Keeping meal times and bedtimes roughly consistent, and giving them a simple calendar showing where they will be each week, reduces the low-level anxiety that fuels difficult behaviour.

The Weeks Without Your Children

If your ex has the children for a fortnight, you may be facing the longest stretch without them since the separation. It is normal for that to hurt, and it is worth planning for rather than just enduring.

• Arrange a light communication routine. A short video call every couple of days keeps the connection without intruding on the other parent's time. Agree the pattern in advance so it does not become a flashpoint.
• Fill the first two days. The silence is loudest at the start. Book something for the first evening they are away.
• Use the time on yourself. Rest properly, see the friends you have been neglecting, and do the things that are harder with children around. This is not disloyalty. Arriving at handover recharged is a gift to your children. Our guide on mental health and divorce has more on looking after your own wellbeing through separation.
• Stay off their holiday's social media trail. Watching your ex's holiday photos rarely makes anyone feel better. Mute, do not scroll.

If this is your first summer apart and the whole season feels heavier than you expected, structured support helps. A breakup support group gives you people who understand, and a divorce coach can help you plan for the difficult weeks before they arrive. You can book a free discovery call to talk through what that support might look like.

If You Cannot Agree

Some co-parenting relationships are not yet at the stage where a calm summer negotiation is possible. If you are stuck:

• Try mediation before solicitors. A mediator can usually resolve a holiday dispute in one or two sessions, at a fraction of the cost and stress of the legal route.
• Focus proposals on the children. Courts, mediators, and for that matter your ex all respond better to "this is good for the children because" than "I am entitled to".
• Document what is agreed and stick to it precisely yourself, even if the other side is less reliable.
• Escalate only for genuine welfare issues. The court route exists, but it is slow, expensive, and corrosive to the co-parenting relationship you will still need in September.

Our co-parenting guide covers communication strategies for high-conflict situations in more depth. And if the children do not yet know about the separation, work through how to tell them well before the holidays begin, so the summer is not carrying that weight too.

Frequently Asked Questions

How should separated parents split the six-week summer holiday?

There is no legal formula. Common patterns are alternating weeks, two-week blocks for each parent, or splitting the holiday into halves. The right answer depends on distance between homes, work patterns, and the children's ages. Agree it early, put it in writing, and aim for an arrangement you can repeat in future years with the weeks swapped.

Can I take my children abroad without my ex's permission?

Usually not. You need the consent of everyone with parental responsibility, unless you have a Child Arrangements Order saying the children live with you, which permits trips abroad of up to 28 days. Taking a child abroad without the required consent can amount to child abduction, so always get written agreement or a court order first.

What if my ex refuses to agree summer arrangements?

Propose specific dates in writing and give them a reasonable deadline to respond. If you cannot reach agreement, try mediation before anything legal. As a last resort, you can apply to the court for a Specific Issue Order or Child Arrangements Order, but court timescales mean you should start well before the summer you are trying to resolve.

Do both parents have to pay for holiday childcare?

There is no automatic rule. Child maintenance covers general living costs, and holiday childcare is usually negotiated separately. The fairest approach is to agree the childcare plan and the cost split in advance, in writing, taking account of each parent's income and how much leave each is contributing.

How do I cope with weeks away from my children in summer?

Plan the time rather than enduring it. Agree a light routine of calls with the children, fill the first couple of days with plans, invest in rest and friendships, and treat the recharge as part of being a good parent. If the separation is recent and the weeks apart feel overwhelming, a support group or a divorce coach can make a genuine difference.

Plan Early, Hold It Lightly

The summer holidays after separation reward preparation and punish pride. Agree the split early, get holiday consent in writing, share the childcare load, and plan for the weeks without the children as deliberately as the weeks with them. Do that, and September will arrive with the children happy, the co-parenting relationship intact, and you still standing.